Welcome to the Americans for Freedom of Information!

May 6, 2009 at 2:28 am 47 comments

We are the Americans for Freedom of Information. We are a fictitious group of individuals; i.e. we do not exist. And yet, for a nonexistent organization we wield great power and knowledge! O Yea, Verily. OK, actually, not verily at all. Anti-verily, as a matter of an utter lack of fact.

Having not met in our non-existent office, we decided that the world needed to see the Occidental College transcripts and application materials that definitively prove Barack Obama registered as Barry Soetoro, foreign student of Indonesian citizenship! !! !!! And so, in the most hypothetical and not really actual sense, we drew up a press release that no one will ever find, called a press conference to which no journalists actually came, and somehow got the Associated Press to not write a news article that does not really exist, confirming it all. As our Executive Vice President for Paper Clips hypothetically put it, “Bwa. Bwa ha ha ha.”

From our lofty perch in the Astral Plane we will enjoy, to the extent we exist, the fervent actual writings by right-wing websites ranging from Free Republic to a “nigger joke” website, obsessing over the unreal, not-actual, never-happened activities of our organization and the amazingly made-up revelations that will forever not change our political landscape.

Weave tales about Barack Obama out of invisible silken threads? Oh yes, mighty Emperor. Yes We Can!

Entry filed under: shenanigans. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Chump of the Day: Political Pistachio

47 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Unnamed Name  |  May 6, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Oh god, this is too funny. Am I the first commenter? I’m so honored. This is legendary.

    Reply
    • 2. LPALMER  |  April 9, 2010 at 10:46 pm

      you dam republican can’t keep your finding.so why in the hell did you people go after bush when he was in office?because he made you rich?and ask who help him bail out his oil field s ask him who he is and did you know that bush knows where he is hiding ?SO PUT THAT IN YOUR DAM HAT A SMOKE IT

      Reply
  • 3. Amfoi Joe  |  May 6, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    Oh, you would be. But, like us, you do not exist!

    Reply
  • 4. Lookout  |  May 6, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    Priceless. You non-existent geniuses have filled my in-box with the reverberations of your Obama transcripts story. All of my wingnut acquaintances have forwarded the story to me, usually with extremely long address lists, showing how this wonderful fiction has looped the globe and quickened the heartbeats of thousands of near-brain-dead Republicans. You have given them hope! Well done.

    Reply
  • 5. Phil Onochie  |  May 7, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    I think you failed miserably. While I did see the story, I never reported on it or forwarded it to any of my friends who run news websites.

    Also, non of the major news networks reported on it. FOX (fair and balanced news) was not stupid enough to take bait and the only reason why MSNBC and other liberal outlets didn’t report on it is because you warned them first. Right?

    Don’t kid yourself guys, you can’t fool people who actually do research before they open their mouths on television to embarrass themselves on the air waves.

    Whom do you have as your brain behind this juvenile joke? Pris Matthews, Keith Oblerfreak? Deplorable really.

    Reply
    • 6. Amfoi Joe  |  May 7, 2009 at 6:13 pm

      Well, “Pris Matthews” doesn’t exist, either, so he’s a good candidate. “Keith Olberfreak” is another good candidate for where this utter hoax came from. I don’t know. Hang on — let me consult my non-existent friends briefly to see what non-entity did this…

      … we agree. It was Jim Bakker’s Virtue. Yep. Jim Bakker’s Virtue (known around here in the Realm of the Utterly False as JBV) was the one who came up with this completely made up story and got conservatives all around the web to repeat it. So if you’ve got a problem, take it up with Jim Bakker’s Virtue. His phone number is at the bottom of the Occidental College transcript we have released, which I’m sure you can find easily, because it is also not at all real, and we can tell you’re familiar with unreality.

      Reply
  • 7. Fredrick Schwartz  |  May 8, 2009 at 11:33 am

    this is a scream. bravo! The press release comes out on 2 April 2009 and this site appears nearly forty days later. Voila! I’m a researcher by profession. All you have to do now is fabricate a link to the AP with this story and a link to the UK Daily Mail story and I’ll be fully convinced. Of course you’re gonna say I’m just some liberal malcontent stirring up trouble. Well actually I’m just a malcontent and we can keep the politics out of this.

    I hope this is making many, many stupid religious nutjobs who hate anything darker than the skin of a peach go broke donating money to the likes of you and that Russian nut Orly Taitz. they said you people would lose your minds if a Jew or a black were ever elected President and now I see it with my own eyes. Circular firing squads for everyone!

    Reply
    • 8. Amfoi Joe  |  May 8, 2009 at 1:36 pm

      You, sir, are wrong. We who do not exist cannot “scream” since we have no mouths. Get your LACK OF FACTS STRAIGHT! !! !!!!!!!!

      Reply
  • 9. Jim Samples  |  May 8, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Freedom of speech does not surpass the law governing “uttering and publishing.”

    “Any person who utters and publishes as true any false, forged, altered or counterfeit record, deed, instrument or other writing specified, knowing it to be false, altered, forged, or counterfeit, with intent to injure or defraud is guilty of uttering and publishing.”

    Look it up chumps, then get online with your lawyers as soon as possible. Hopefully you’ll end up in jail over this.

    Reply
    • 10. Amfoi Joe  |  May 8, 2009 at 6:25 pm

      OmiGosh! It’s a good thing we DO NOT EXIST, because this means we are not American citizens. Or is that we are, not, American citizens? To the extent that I exist, I think it is the former. Anyway, you get the point. This group does not exist, and so as non-existent beings we cannot be prosecuted, except by a jury of our hypothetical peers, and who could tell what their imaginary verdict might be? Good thing we don’t exist, because you’re right, otherwise our forgery would plant us right in jail.

      This is the best part of all — see, we’re not the perpetrators and all, seeing as how we don’t exist. The perpetrators of this fake are the real people who copy and paste utter lies either without checking on what’s true or without caring if it’s true. We owe it all to the dumb bunnies!

      Reply
  • 11. liberalliar  |  May 8, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    I would expect nothing else from the left or the DEMS. If you can’t lie and scam, you really have nothing to say or to do. You have so much in common with the terrorists, except they wear nicer clothes.

    Reply
    • 12. Amfoi Joe  |  May 8, 2009 at 9:13 pm

      Yes, yes, we, the group that does NOT exist, are from the “left” and the “DEMS” who seek to… spread a lie that makes Barack Obama look bad! Clearly, we are quite confused when we nonexistent “DEMS” are out to subvert a Democratic President.

      Hmm. Something in that depiction is not quite right. Hmm. What is it? Can you figure it out? Think in very small words, LL. It may help.

      Reply
  • 13. liberalliar  |  May 9, 2009 at 12:14 am

    Like Media Matters and his whore Podesta at Center For Amerikan Progress haven’t come out to lie and obfuscate. Get real! This scam doesn’t make Obama look bad…..it is the people who believe it that look bad and gullible. Once again my original post stands. Try new clothes Amfoi.

    Reply
    • 14. Amfoi Joe  |  May 9, 2009 at 12:29 am

      I am furious, or would be if I were not a fictional character! Your original post DOES NOT STAND! It crouches, then leaps, bounds, and pirhouettes. Be ACCURATE! Stand, indeed. Harumph!

      Reply
  • 15. liberalliar  |  May 9, 2009 at 3:26 am

    iapnews is a bogus site………you are crap! You hawk garbage in the guise of news. Figures you would use a site like dreamworks. Low class and cheap. What a fraud you are. Get a life you wacko!

    Reply
    • 16. Amfoi Joe  |  May 9, 2009 at 3:36 am

      Well, first of all, you are NOT named “Liberalliar!” That is not your name, you llllllliar!

      Second of all, you completely misunderstand we who do not exist. It is our purpose as an entirely hypothetical group to guide credulous creatures such yourself, should you exist, through our hoaxing techniques so that you may understand them better, recognize them and deal with them on the actual empirical plane of real shit.

      We do admire Dreamworks Entertainment. You got that right. We really like that one movie with the hippo and the neurotic giraffe.

      Reply
  • 17. liberalliar  |  May 9, 2009 at 3:53 am

    aww what’s the matter Amfoi……..so I should have posted the cheap dreamhost.com. My mistake. You are a coward. Play you little hoaxes little boy. Go for it. But you have been busted. Live with it. Grow up! Get out of your mommy’s basement and get a job!

    Reply
  • 18. liberalliar  |  May 9, 2009 at 4:11 am

    By the way, Leonard Rapoport thinks you are boring!

    Reply
    • 19. Amfoi Joe  |  May 9, 2009 at 12:00 pm

      That’s OK. Leonard Rapoport obviously does not exist!

      Reply
  • [...] up a site calling itself “Americans for Freedom of Information: We Do Not Exist.” Its first entry [...]

    Reply
  • 21. America First  |  May 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Hopefully, your efforts will end up with obama being deposed and many of the corrupt Democrats and RINOs in Congress being similarly rejected. Keep up the great work. America needs to be rid of socialist corruption and legalized theft by government.

    Reply
    • 22. Amfoi Joe  |  May 12, 2009 at 6:51 pm

      Oh yes! We hope, just like you do, that by plastering on the lies, we can deceive America into shoving Barack Obama out of office! Bearing False Witness can be so helpful, can’t it?

      Reply
  • 23. America First  |  May 12, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    When are you going to add something truthful?

    Reply
    • 24. Amfoi Joe  |  May 12, 2009 at 6:53 pm

      Why, all of this information is “true,” if by “true” you mean exactly the sort of utter bullshit that you can find in 95% of what’s published by the Obama birth certificate conspiracy movement.

      Reply
  • 25. Right Perspective  |  May 12, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    now, now kids…the bottom line is there is more than one law suit filed. the most prominent is from a life-long Democrat, Phillip Berg, former Dep. State Attorney General in Penn.
    His suit was presented to the Supreme court but they have not selected it for hearing…yet.

    Barack Obama – birth certifcate – Lawsuit – for your review
    Posted on 05 December 2008

    Barack’s birth certifcate is making the rounds on the net…

    Looks good to me, but the supreme court is set to take up the issue in the coming weeks. Not sure what would happen if it was found to be fake, but it would be a huge blow for our country. Would it be presidnet Biden?

    here is a link to the undying nature of this story on Salon.com

    And from the constitution the legal requirments : “No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”
    Next to this entry you’ll find a ‘certificate of Live Birth’ but know, this is not a legal substitute for a birth certificate. Which is why an actual ‘birth certificate has NEVER been produced!

    Reply
    • 26. Amfoi Joe  |  May 12, 2009 at 11:05 pm

      Yes it has been, you silly goose. The state of Hawaii says it has been. You silly Right Perspective honking, feathery goose, you haven’t a shred of evidence to disprove Obama’s claim to natural born citizenship, and Obama has plenty of evidence, backed up by all the proper certifying agencies, and the historical records, and the Republican Governor of Hawaii and her Republican administration, and newspaper records.

      You silly, silly goose. You have no panache! Look, if you’re going to make something up (like I and my fictional Americans for Freedom of Information enjoy doing), go for the gusto! Include a paternity suit by Che Guevara! Or Sasquatch! Yes, that’s it, a paternity suit by the Sasquatch. Or, no, wait, he’s a natural born citizen. The Chupacabra! He’s a Latino Foreigner Goatsucker, and HE is Barack Obama’s dad! Yeah, that’s the ticket! It’s got style! It’s audacious! Go for the BIG LIE, fella. The BIG LIE!

      Reply
  • 27. marcy harris  |  May 13, 2009 at 2:35 am

    Actually the joke is on y’all! This phony email has circulated so far and wide that now millions of Americans believe it is true and will be loath to vote for Obama next time around–or was that the plan?

    Reply
  • 28. Floyd  |  July 17, 2009 at 5:29 am

    As a practrical joker I just love it. The far out nutcases have cut and pasted your phoney AP article all over the internet.

    Reply
  • 29. weez  |  July 30, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    Amfoi J, killer stuff. Every birfer that reposts or believes your most excellent spoof proves that they’re mental midgets who willl believe absolutely anything.

    Exploit that gullibility, babaaaay!

    I think you should take your own advice and go for the BIG LIE. The Sasquatch paternity case is sorta OK, but needs more scandal. Was Sasquatch a socialist? Voter registration cards should be exposed! There’s ugly rumours that Sas hung out (so to speak) at ‘leather bear dens’ in SF’s famed Castro district, proving Sas was a part-time (yet hugely hairy) sissy. No wonder BHO opposes gay marriage! And shaves a lot!

    ‘Course, the whole ‘Hawai’i isn’t America’ field of birferism remains completely untouched. You can touch dat! Hammer says it’s OK.

    Birf baby birf! Birf here! Birf now!

    Reply
  • 30. Franc  |  August 3, 2009 at 2:53 am

    How do I jion this non-existant group?

    Reply
  • 31. Franc  |  August 3, 2009 at 2:55 am

    Sorry for the bad spelling. I want to know I can “join” this non-existant group.

    Reply
  • 32. Catherine Martinez  |  September 13, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    It is incredible to me how willing people are to believe something that fits with their prejudices, no matter how far fetched, how outlandish and how easily checked to be false!

    Reply
  • [...] Yes, that e-mail, the hoax e-mail, went out months before the creation of Debra Smith’s website. Debra Smith’s website, in turn, was created a week after this one. [...]

    Reply
  • 34. David Blake  |  December 18, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    You can fool some of the people some of the time,most of the people most of the time,but you cant fool all of the people all of the time.Before I forward e mails I research truth in documentation.I would look like a fool if I sent along false info.Sorry no fool here.

    Reply
  • 35. Fran Howard  |  December 24, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    I have read both sides of this Obama concept. Having lived 73 years, and been born with an investigators sense of questioning… I am convinced that there is great change going on..”something is in the air”.. People wake up!, Remove the veil from your eyes and your reasoning. We are being and have been deceived! The question is, ” What is the Truth! What do you believe?” Perhaps it is time to use our common sense, develop our intuition and use all of the brain power we were designed to use. 90% use as it is now, makes us really quite stupid and real easy to manipulate

    .

    Reply
  • 36. Jack MeHoff  |  February 21, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    If this is not true,why did you publish it? With all the bullshit news out there,I don’t think this is funny. It was not until today that I gave some real thought to this and decided to look into who you think you are. I hope you rot in jail for starting this false report.

    Reply
    • 37. Amfoi Joe  |  February 21, 2010 at 5:46 pm

      We did not start the hoax — see FAQ. From our position on the astral plane of entirely hypothetical existence, we send missives down to Earth in mockery of the hoax.

      Reply
  • 38. David  |  February 22, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Wow… Amfoi Joe…. it totally baffles the mind as to how people read your website here. Any person, as you say, “with an IQ of 50″ could figure out that this website is a spoof on the original email that spread the globe (assuming it actually did). But apparently there are a whole horde of people out there with IQ’s of less than 50.

    What’s interesting is that there are idiots from both the left and the right… there’s Fredrick Schwartz, Jim Samples and Jack MeHoff above that think you’re actually spreading the lies, and that you maybe even authored the original email… I might say that their combined IQ is less than 50 – sad, because I thought Dems were smart.

    Then you have the crazies like marcy harris and liberalliar above that, sadly, have IQ’s above 50 (not by much), but wow – they sorta scare me. They’re willing to spread lies to gain what they want….

    I call myself a Republican, but, lately, I’m hiding in shame, since the Republican party has stooped to new lows. I receive countless emails from the right that are nothing but lies and half-truths. Emails from the “death panels”, to Obama’s college transcripts, to Tiger having sex with my cousin… oh… wait… let’s forget about that last one….

    Anyway – I do applaud you in your quest to point out the stupidity of those that just blanket forward emails – assuming they’re true because they fit their prejudice minds.

    Oh wait… I just remembered… you don’t exist, so nevermind on all of this… but….. hey… thanks for not existing then :)

    Reply
  • 39. R. Huma  |  April 18, 2010 at 4:28 am

    I’ll bet your sociology “perfessor” at the local community college you attend gave you an A+ on this project.

    So much more socially “relevant” than picking your boogers in your parents basement and flipping other teenagers at the mall the bird.

    Reply
  • 40. roberto  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    boyz this is NOT funny ……. it slowed down the time table of the Mosad by weeks for their mission “butt streak” and the Zero

    Reply
  • 41. Idolina  |  May 14, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    This won’t be the first time obama has lied, Just tell the truth is that so hard to do in this adminstraton?

    Reply
    • 42. swann2001  |  May 15, 2011 at 3:18 pm

      Barack Obama claimed he would have the most transparent Presidency ever. He claimed he would close Guantanamo. He claimed he would focus on jobs and the economy. He claimed he would hold trials for the terrorists. He claimed he would bring the troops home from Iraq, but now has us involved in a third shooting war, supporting some the same people who want to kill us and destroy Israel. He is not only a liar, just “Bush Lite”.

      Reply
  • 43. jim  |  June 3, 2010 at 3:29 am

    whether or not this was a bogus claim or not, which there is no doubt it is, the point is being avoided as to why are obama’s records so confidential. the rest of america is open to the public, with a little bit of thier information. this is a great deal of why people are so easily convinced our president is “an illegal alien that somehow slipped undetected into our highest office and now has full authority to drive this country into whatever hole he deems necessary”.

    Reply
    • 44. Amfoi Joe  |  June 8, 2010 at 2:42 pm

      Jim,

      Post your complete name, address, phone number, social security number, place of birth and mother’s maiden name, and then we’ll be able to continue this conversation.

      I mean, hey, what are you hiding? ;)

      Reply
      • 45. swann2001  |  May 15, 2011 at 3:24 pm

        I think it is safe to assume that Jim is not running or holding an office that decides the fate of millions if not billions of people in the world. A person with that power and responsibility should expect to prove beyond anyone’s expectations, that he is exactly who he claims to be. Wouldn’t most people agree? You give up your right to privacy when you aspire to public office, because you make the decisions for all of us, as such we have a right to know who you are.

  • 46. Dude  |  March 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    I am beginning to feel that I dont exist- is there any help for the esistentially challenged- i have been posting this all over FB the internet etc- but no one will connect the dots-
    VERY QUIETLY OBAMA’S CITIZENSHIP CASE REACHES THE SUPREME COURT
    AP – WASHINGTON D.C -In a move certain to fuel the debate over Obama’s qualifications for the presidency, the group “Americans for Freedom of Information” has Released copies of President Obama’s college transcripts from Occidental College . Released today, the transcript school indicates that Obama, under the name Barry Soetoro, received financial aid as a foreign student from Indonesia as an undergraduate. The transcript was released by OccidentalCollege in compliance with a court order in a suit brought by the group in the Superior Court of California.

    maybe none of us exist and we are only little sparks in Barry SO THE OREO’S LITTLE MARXIST BRAIN???????

    Reply
  • 47. weez  |  April 9, 2011 at 11:03 am

    Dude! You just might be a fucknut.

    Reply

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I do not exist t-shirt



Who removed the text in the above section? What is their agenda? And why won't they let me complete my sent...

A Clue for the Literal-Minded

Read these tiny words very closely: the group Americans for Freedom of Information does not exist, just like the supposed "AP article" you keep cutting and pasting into e-mails to your irritated family does not exist, just like the "Daily Mail article" referenced in the fake "AP article" does not exist. They're all fabrications. Fakes. Hoaxes. Ask yourself why you're so eager to believe these obvious fakes. No, really. Really, really ask yourself.

A Clue for Those Especially Allergic to Satire

No, we didn't create the hoax, either. Remember, we at Americans for Freedom of Information don't exist!

No One knows who did create the hoax. Unfortunately, we don't know No One or where he lives, so we can't ask No One about it. We do know her sister, Imnot Telling, but ever since the thing in the place with that other thing, we're not on speaking terms.


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