Posts tagged ‘registration’

Welcome to the Americans for Freedom of Information!

We are the Americans for Freedom of Information. We are a fictitious group of individuals; i.e. we do not exist. And yet, for a nonexistent organization we wield great power and knowledge! O Yea, Verily. OK, actually, not verily at all. Anti-verily, as a matter of an utter lack of fact.

Having not met in our non-existent office, we decided that the world needed to see the Occidental College transcripts and application materials that definitively prove Barack Obama registered as Barry Soetoro, foreign student of Indonesian citizenship! !! !!! And so, in the most hypothetical and not really actual sense, we drew up a press release that no one will ever find, called a press conference to which no journalists actually came, and somehow got the Associated Press to not write a news article that does not really exist, confirming it all. As our Executive Vice President for Paper Clips hypothetically put it, “Bwa. Bwa ha ha ha.”

From our lofty perch in the Astral Plane we will enjoy, to the extent we exist, the fervent actual writings by right-wing websites ranging from Free Republic to a “nigger joke” website, obsessing over the unreal, not-actual, never-happened activities of our organization and the amazingly made-up revelations that will forever not change our political landscape.

Weave tales about Barack Obama out of invisible silken threads? Oh yes, mighty Emperor. Yes We Can!

May 6, 2009 at 2:28 am 47 comments

I do not exist t-shirt

Who removed the text in the above section? What is their agenda? And why won't they let me complete my sent...

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A Clue for the Literal-Minded

Read these tiny words very closely: the group Americans for Freedom of Information does not exist, just like the supposed "AP article" you keep cutting and pasting into e-mails to your irritated family does not exist, just like the "Daily Mail article" referenced in the fake "AP article" does not exist. They're all fabrications. Fakes. Hoaxes. Ask yourself why you're so eager to believe these obvious fakes. No, really. Really, really ask yourself.

A Clue for Those Especially Allergic to Satire

No, we didn't create the hoax, either. Remember, we at Americans for Freedom of Information don't exist!

No One knows who did create the hoax. Unfortunately, we don't know No One or where he lives, so we can't ask No One about it. We do know her sister, Imnot Telling, but ever since the thing in the place with that other thing, we're not on speaking terms.